Where heaving human rights and exhaling the world's wildflowers will still be feasible
I was clicking a document on my laptop few months ago inside a quiet hotel, besides the wide pool, around 275 kilometers far from home, and was quaintly figuring out what the content meant.
Word by word, I was searching any reflective feeling inside. I wanted to feel. But can't sense anything.
Instead, I was unfolding the layers of political dynamics I have endured in the last few years. I was instead weighing how much democratic space and freedom are required to maintain the rigor of a balance life-- where heaving human rights and exhaling the world's wild flowers will still be feasible.
I thought it wasn't an awareness of numbness because I remember I was still very declarative and straightforward in relating about it with my two friends over dinner. Between sipping the hot soup and chopping grilled chicken, I was able to clearly map out my sentiment over a document; like it doesn't mean to me at all; like it was an object I can freely dismiss.
It was a none-issue for me. It doesn't erode the bursting inspiration within and the passion to at least view life anew from different lens everyday. That paper cannot stop the lingering music. It cannot paralyze my system and my world view. It failed to impregnate the silent, cozy, comfortable hotel room I was accommodated. The world is still ever green, peoples are still interweaving. The reality is maybe distant, sometimes remote, sometimes complicatedly deep to fathom-- but there seems nothing to feel with or without the forces which held me for a long while.
Yet everybody around me seems in a "huh?!?, why?" then. But, why not?
Getting out, albeit harrowing, seems to me a reemergence of myself. The self I sorely missed.
And so I read this literature again. It just seems too befitting to explain why I let go of some matters that matters to others most.
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She Let Go
By Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
