Brian--the father of my son, Lex.
(Four years after giving birth to my son, I wrote this in a blog which was hacked, frozen, and was thought inaccessible. But it was my blog and my email and recovering what's deemed part of historic narrative of my personal story remained a personal responsibility.)
Brian Cabasag.
He was my lover, my partner, my friend.
His first gift to me was his love; second, his partnership; third, an adorable smart son;
fourth, a contract from a Canadian owned Concentrixx company based in Cagayan de Oro city and a sign pen as a regular product support specialist; and fifth, a rubberized keyboard for my laptop.
fourth, a contract from a Canadian owned Concentrixx company based in Cagayan de Oro city and a sign pen as a regular product support specialist; and fifth, a rubberized keyboard for my laptop.
Brian had just inked his promotion as a technical support engineer of Concentrixx (former Link2Support, Inc.) which took effect on May 1, 2010-- a very special date of Saint Joseph's feast at my mama's home town.
He was born on December 15 (1975), incidentally same birth date of an everdearest priest
whom I trusted and who inspired me so much to endure and appreciate what it is to be
human whilst sustaining sublime burning faith.
He is my friend and my adversary; he has the patience against my intolerance.
I shared with him my unending hopes, plans, achievements and frustrations.
He is the father of my son; will always be the father of my son. The man who waited.
I didn't searched for him. A female friend, who thought am "too old at 30 without a
boyfriend", created the circumstance to introduce us.
boyfriend", created the circumstance to introduce us.
I am certain that in love, one becomes a conqueror of time and distance in an unjust
madness to be with the beloved. I believe I can do that. But in this relation, he seized
distance and time between us. He considered that relevant. He once waited one cold dawn time at a street while I was travelling from Zamboanga city to Iligan.
Endearment wasn't our forte. In our togetherness, there was only one circumstance I
considered great to remember-- that was when we saw very old couple seated side-by-side and he said "we will also be like them." I silently thought that was the sweetest thing
considered great to remember-- that was when we saw very old couple seated side-by-side and he said "we will also be like them." I silently thought that was the sweetest thing
he ever said.
Between the two of us, I can easily say 'I quit' whenever I felt disheartened. In fact, I can
count on my fingers the number of times I have said that. But his tears bear depths than mine.
Brian and I are 80% different in choices, decisions, tastes, opinions, and in experiences.
That means there are sooo much for us to talk, argue, debate and dialogue to see lenses in different light. He allowed me to have a room for myself; just as I allowed him to enjoy his spaces.
What is important for now, however, is we are appreciative of our differences.
Sometimes, in the complexity of trusting, there are uncontrollable forces and choices done that weren't fated nor fitted to adhered values. In this circumstance, we can only stared at freedom and keep burning for what is most important.
What is important for now, however, is we are appreciative of our differences.
Sometimes, in the complexity of trusting, there are uncontrollable forces and choices done that weren't fated nor fitted to adhered values. In this circumstance, we can only stared at freedom and keep burning for what is most important.
